first day jitters

it's awfully quiet around here. today is ava's first day of preschool. eli is napping. instead of rejoicing for this golden moment of solitude i'm a little sad. for the last 894 days or 21,456 hours or 1,287,360 minutes (counting the seconds would be a little dramatic, right?!), i have been carefully looking after ava, trying to keep her safe, healthy and happy. now i must trust others (strangers practically) to look out for her too (she'll be going twice a week for 3 hours). i'm reminded of a conversation i had with my sister about parenting. i think ava had just been born and i was particularly protective and katie reminded me (gently, of course) that ava is God's and that i must trust Him to take care of her too. this reminder was perfect for short date nights or scrapbooking weekends, but it's a little difficult this morning. trusting God this morning is a tug of war!! i tell Him i trust Him to protect her at the same time my heart is beating fast with worry. but God made her, knows her better than i do even, loves her beyond what my mind can comprehend, surely He will take care of her!!

i dropped ava off this morning and she gave me a whopper of a smile, a beautiful gift to get me through the next 2 hours, 10 minutes and 34 seconds until i go pick her up!!

check out her cute backpack! she's been wearing it around the house ever since we got it. obviously, i'm the jittery one, not ava!!

**update** ava had a big smile when i picked her up too! yay!!